There is really no point to wait or to carry on, without further waiting, here is Monday Night Massacre.

Flynt was confronted by a former, currently unnamed UBW superstar who called out Flynt reportedly to a fight. Flynt, not being known as the submissive type, did not wait to fight in the parking lot and caused physical damage to the victim, two by-standers and a priceless collection of beer pitchers.

As noted, this is not the first run-in with the stars of the UBW and local law enforcement. Starting at Backyard Brawl 4, those of the law community have been making their presence felt at events; arresting superstar Ajax in his main event title bout against Big Poppa Peepers; and the following week at a taping of Massacre where an egotistical fuck shut down the event and continued to harass fans and talent. Superstar Hugh Flynt’s latest run-in which includes assault and battery charges, property damage and other charges that are sure to be brought against the UBW’s most ruthless competitor.

The members of the Championship Committee could not be reached for comment. However Flynt’s manager, Joshua Burns, answered phone calls from UBWWrestling.com and simply stated, “we will address this matter at a later time.”

As soon as more information comes in on this story look to UBWWrestling.com, our official Twitter page and Facebook for the latest.

UPDATE 9/18 1:00AM: Word has just reached UBWWrestling.com offices that Hugh Flynt was released from the Polk County Jail around 10 on Thursday evening. Charges from  the incident are still out however the UBW Championship Committee has released the following statement on this matter: “His name is the Eastside Brickwall for Christ’s sake, what did you expect. Please, quit calling us.”

None the less, folks, I present you with the REAL news in and around the UBW:

I promised dirt, and dirt I have brought to you. It appears that the securer of safety, The Crash Test Dummy, has a career that stretches out beyond the yard. According to documents I have obtained through another shady and anonymous person I refuse to cite nor turn over, because THEY ARE REAL! Anywho, it appears that Crash Test Dummy is a real-life crash test dummy. Not from the hit 90s band, but the one used in government crash tests. Obviously, if you did not know this, you are a retard. Importantly though was the job before it, Crash Test Dummy was none other than UBW superstar James Koester! I guess this lays to rest other rumors that the Dummy was a back-up dancer for Milli Vinilli.

If you haven’t heard yet either, the police seem to be invading the UBW. Word has it that the police officer was simply misunderstood. The officer, not a real police officer at all, but a man with an old car, uniform and spare time was attending the show to watch Billy Joe and Joshua Burns wrestle. Stating in a later interview he was a life-long fan of Burns, he was hurt when Joshua Burns began yelling verbal assaults at the officer. None of this, however could be verified.

The Fallen was approached to do advertisements for Arby’s in the Midwest region. When The Fallen reportedly went into the Arby’s in Emporia, Kansas for the shooting of the commercial he became irate, realizing he was in fact in Kansas. Going into a fritz of fury The Fallen racked up damage in the thousands. The local Emporian mayor has requested federal aid and has declared the state a disaster zone. When contacting Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius on the matter she commented saying “where the hell is Emporia?”

The Questionable Lucha Libre, El Que? has requested that his fans not request his autographs before or after shows. When asking this Rumor reporters favorite superstar about why he would ask such from his loyal fans, he replied saying, “Well, you know, I’m going through this divorce, essay. So no um, how do you say this…. no Kitty Tacos for El Que nowadays, which leads to chafing and carpel tunnel.”

And lastly it appears… actually, shit. Library is closing, til next time this a very poor and desperate Rumor Man Pete saying, mail me your loose change and pop cans.

Rumor Motherfuckin Man Pete

Wow! Isn’t this site purty. It’s been a while all my little bag heads. What was once the UWA has become the UBW, and do you know what that means? Does it mean love and understanding amongst the backyard wrestlers you see on a weekly basis? Hell no! It means even more controversy and backstage politics according to some. Speaking of which, let’s get down to it:

The biggest buzz in the new UBW has got to be what went down at the end of Backyard Brawl 4 with Ajax being arrested. Many have stated that earlier in the night seen on the very same broadcast Ajax was seen on camera in an apparent ‘deal’ was the cause of the arrest. Many others however have pointed the finger at the assault on, Championship Committee member, Gregory Stevens as the cause for arrest. Regardless of the cause of the arrest, many have felt the resulting end should have played in its entirety showing the fans the arrest so they would not feel cheated. When pressed for comment about the situation, the Championship Committee simply stated “We stand by our decision.”

Anthony Perez has been backstage as a great worker however rumors have started to swirl about an overhaul in reference to his character. Some within the creative aspect of the new UBW have been brainstorming as to what type of character “The Present” would be cast as. One has recommended a Rick Moranis (Ghostbusters, Honey I shrunk the Kids) style character, however have been quickly scraped, feeling the sheer magnitude of the role would be impossible to master.

The Package has been arrested and released on bail again due to public exposure.

In Florida a new law firm has been brought to the local media’s attention after taking on a high profile case of a double murder/suicide. The Johnson & Horowitz firm has come under some attention as well by the wrestling community as the names of the attorneys at law are Richard Johnson and Barry Horowitz. When researched further through the firms website both seem to bare a striking resemblance to the wrestlers in question. When attempted to reach the desk of Richard Johnson we were told he was away. I politely left my contact information. I still have yet to receive a call. In my opinion, I think he’s a dick!

Big Poppa Peepers has said to be on somewhat of a head hunt lately after the end of Backyard Brawl. Peepers has been said to have been putting together a list of all of the UBW wrestlers that have yet to escape his wrath. Needless to say the list is fairly short. With the uncertainty of the UBW World Heavyweight Championship still in the air, Peepers may not have a choice to his next opponent for the gold, but that won’t stop the 7 time UBW World Champion from ripping anybody’s head off.

I definitely have more information on the way, but exposing it to soon may reveal my secret identity. Until next time, choose paper over plastic.

B.P. Bagg

Besides being on Facebook, at our official page (located here); you can follow the latest UBW happenings on Twitter! At our twitter page (tweet us here) you can get the latest news, rumors and more RIGHT as they are happening!

The young, fresh from the academy police officer seemed to overstep not only his jurisdiction, but proper respect for his fellow man. “We learned that police officers seemed to have the will power to create ordinance fines off the top of their head for whatever purpose that makes their point right in their eyes. The Patriot Act at work.” Said UBW Superstar, Sgt. Strict when questioned by UBWWrestling.com on the day’s events. ” The officer was also described as asking everyone in attendance for identification, insulting parents who have decided to bring children to the show, and as described by Strict, simply making up rules as he went along.

This is the second event in a row police have shown up to the UBW shows. Two weeks ago at Backyard Brawl 4, contender Ajax was forced to forefit towards the end of the UBW World Championship match after police showed up to arrest the superstar on alleged drug charges.

Police have shown up to many UBW events over the years, but most have had a great track record of being nothing but courteous, entertained and pleased with the law-abiding compliance held by Untied Backyard Wrestling.

Members of the Championship Committee have collectively released a brief statement on the issue saying: “Fuck, fuck, fuck da police. Fuck, fuck, fuck da police. Yo, just fuck em!”