You’re going to have to forgive me, when I was attempting to cut the eye hole out of my snazzy headwear, I accidentally stabbed myself in the eye. Anything for the cause! Anyway, with the IBW airing most of there frustrations on Monday Night Massacre, I’m afraid I don’t have to much to really report on, but never fear, that wont stop me from digging through the bag known as the truth!
Obviously our stop story has to be the return of the man from Hell, Maine known as Pyro. As I reported in an earlier post has been confirmed in front of all of the UWA faithful. It’s been said around the camp fire that Pyro has a new point of view as it comes to the UWA. With several promotions citing a poor attitude in the back, it appears Pyro may be back in the UWA to stay. With the recent formation of the IBW, many have said they wouldn’t be surprised to see Pyro try his hand in the hardcore promotion. Some of those same sources also say its unlikely that Pyro would be welcomed into the super group. Only time will tell Pyro’s true intentions.
Billy Joe has been seen hanging around the Chuck E. Cheese ball pen. The word on the situation is that a local 2nd grader once ran the pen with an iron fist until the retarded rassler came to town. Over the course of the past few weeks it’s been a battle of wits has ensued. From checkers to rock, paper, scissors, all the way to monopoly. When the smoke cleared Billy Joe won with a kick to the testicles.
A new debuting backyard wrestler has made some serious impact on a promotion known for “over the top” performers. Crash test dummy has, crashed onto the scene in a four way contest that wasn’t the greatest first outing for a new comer. The man from the motor city has come into the UWA, and he’s not afraid of anything. I wouldn’t be either if my last job was to sit in a car and crash into a brick wall. One has to wonder will Crash Test Dummy run into another brick wall here in the UWA?
The championship committee has been, in a word, furious. This company collective of secret society members has been in close door sessions since the broadcast of Massacre. Several expletives as well as specific names concerning the IBW have been heard throughout the office over the course of the last few days. Office personnel closer in proximity to the closed door sessions have rumored to me that over the course of the next few weeks the committee has decided to take action in a major fashion.
Well folks that’s it for now. Remember mother earth and me want you to choose paper of plastic
B.P. Bagg
