Well hello one, and hello all, it’s the rumor telling, cross eyed sportin, heavy lisp speakin son-of-a-bitch, Rumor Man Pete, with the latest dirt from my latest employer, UWA. It’s been awhile, and I have missed you all as dearly as the “cold sores” on Anthony Perez’ upper lip.
Onto the meat and potatoes…
- The Package was supposed to be the special M.C. at the ‘Hannah Montana Explosivo Tour’ show this past week in Baltimore, Maryland. According to fan reports, The Package got the crowd of teenage girls all sorts of worked up during the pre-show but was unable to perform when it matters because he was too excited and collapsed on stage. According to the embarrassed Package “this never happened before”.
- From what I’ve been hearing it appears Billy Joe has put his notice with the company following news that the folks at Nickelodeon have offered him a pilot for his own television show. The show, which is rumored to cater to the ‘mentally challenged child’ demographic will focus on teaching children how to capture their ‘retard strength’ within!
- Former retired backyard wrestler Old School has reportedly challenged UWA lucha libre superstar El Que? to a charity match for “Puberty Awarness Month” which is during the month of June! El Que’s very busy spokesperson did release a statement on the Mexican superstar’s behalf which has been translated from spanish to english by the myspace.com/uwa_wrestling staff:
“To my loyal fans and lovers, El Que? Has been tried and tested around the world and has proved himself as the world’s best! This character of the Old School is funny, old and smells of that of GoldBond Medicated Foot Powder! Yes, Gold Bond Medicated Foot Powder has the absorbing power that can cure any moisture problems that you might occur! I use Gold Bond Medicated Foot Powder and so should you!”
- Word has is it that Joshua Burns is becoming very frustrated with his position backstage and is said to be in the doghouse with the board of directors. According to this close to the situation, Burns is looking to get out of the promotion sometime within the next few months.
- Big Daddy Dave Johnson was arrested this past Friday in Reno, Nevada where he was the guest judge at the National Crossdressing Rodeo and Candy Expo. According to police reports obtained by myself the UWA superstar was arrested for a Class-2 misdemeanor theft for the removal of the contestants undergarments. The undergarments could not be recovered, however twenty pounds of ‘Good-N-Plenty’s’ where.
That’s all the dirt for this week. Until next time, keep it below the window line!
Rumor Man Pete
Est. 2002
